Today’s message from Lourens
Do you get offended when somebody tries to explain something to you? Do you pretend to know what’s being taught? Can you take instruction from someone that’s beneath you? Do you feel certain tasks are beneath you or that you don’t have to do them? When somebody gives you an instruction, do you try and one up them by being funny, making snide comments etc.?
We all have these conditions that we place on changing but we want unconditional acceptance. In relationships, the vulnerability that you are willing to give is conditional, but you want unconditional love in return. Luke 15:11 the parable of the lost son. There’s a big difference between us avoiding love and us not being loved. Love also doesn’t get manipulated. The son went away from the father’s house. He moved away willingly. He then squandered everything, went broke, got hungry and decided to go back. He wanted to request his father to hire him as a servant. He never really understood his inheritance, in squandering all the money, he lost his sonship. He wanted to go back to his dad and instead of being a son he was going to ask to be a servant. When he went back his father accepted him as his son and he felt love. So many times our parents feel guilty because of our behaviour but it’s not them, it’s us. We want our conditions to be met unconditionally. We don’t give others grace for their mistakes but expect them to give it to us.
Is my change dependent on someone else’s behaviour? If someone else gets consequences for doing wrong then I’ll accept mine, but if they don’t I won’t accept mine. It’s not about the consequences, it’s about the behaviour that gets us into the consequences. Do you have an attitude of I’ll change no matter what? Most of us don’t. We put conditions on our change. I change because I have to, no matter what the cost. Change is a process. Each person’s journey is different. Stop waiting for life to be fair in your eyes and by your judgement. If it hasn’t cost you something, you will not appreciate it. You had everything and yet you still ‘left your father’s house’.
If somebody else breaks the rules or bends them does that automatically mean doing this becomes acceptable for you to do? Because somebody else did something wrong, do you demand that something wrong you do is okay? This happens very often. Remember I’m talking about being unteachable. Someone else’s shortcomings shouldn’t influence you being teachable.
Proverbs 26:12 “Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than them.” The only person an unteachable person takes advice from is himself. A fool despises correction.
Proverbs 3:7-8 “Do not be wise in your own eyes fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” An “Ask hole” is somebody who asks for advice but does absolutely nothing with it. That person’s unteachable because they won’t listen, because they ‘know everything’. We live life like it’s upto us and pray like it’s upto God. Listen to the Word of God and do it.
Are you critical or constructive? Are you short tempered or patient? Do what you can about becoming teachable because God Himself says if you are not wise in your own eyes, you will have health, you will have healing and you will have refreshment. Draw near to God and He’ll draw near to you.
Do you talk a lot and listen a little? Do you like to talk negatively about other people? Rather don’t. If you do talk about others make it edifying, talk about the good, be constructive. Do you value teaching and counsel? Get to a place where you do value it. Do you hate instruction? Do you hate correction?
John C Maxwell says most people don’t love each other enough to confront each other. If I have a friend and he sees I’m busy doing something wrong and he lets it go and doesn’t confront me and then eventually I get into trouble and then only he tells me he saw it coming. I’ll tell him to leave me along because why didn’t he tell me. Confrontation is a challenging thing to do but it’s the real love, real friend thing to do.